Sick Person Soup [that is, made FOR sick people, not OF sick people]

M and I have both been passing this stupid low-grade cold back and forth to each other which really feels like adding insult to injury as I tote my extra squirmy bulk around.  Sneezing is quite the EVENT, let’s just say that.  To use up last weeks’ button mushrooms and also the enormous red chard we got in this weeks’ shipment, I made a therapeutically-intentioned soupy pot of miscellany:

1 yellow cooking onion in fine dice [S]

Yeah, it wasn't pretty, but it tasted good

1 knuckle-sized piece of ginger, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
1 stalk celery, chopped
1/2 lb button mushrooms, sliced [SL]
1 bunch red chard coarsely sliced [S]
1 block firm tofu, cubed
2 cans or 1 large tetra-pack of broth, your choice
Olive oil
Sea salt
Cayenne pepper

In a heavy-bottomed soup pot, heat a couple of tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat. Saute mushrooms until excess fluid is cooked off, with a bit of salt to help them “sweat”. Once you can scrape the pot-bottom clean with a wooden spoon, add onion, garlic, ginger and celery with a pinch more salt and some cayenne to taste [this soup is meant to be membrane-scaldingly spicy but not inedible]. When onion is clear, add broth and tofu, water to cover. Heat to boiling, reduce heat, cover and simmer at least 20 minutes. Turn heat off and add chard strips. When chard is wilted you can serve; I added a lemon wedge for the Vitamin C and to perk it up.

You Shouldn’t Need A Smoothie Recipe…But That Could Be My Privilege Talking from Having Worked At A Juice Bar

Macro function

1 frozen banana [if you didn't freeze bananas in advance, of course an unfrozen one will do...but it's mo betta to have a frozen one, check it out]
1/4 cup frozen raspberries [SL]
1/4 cup frozen blueberries [SL]
OPTIONAL if you are vegan: 1/4 cup organic yogurt, I used blackberry but pretty much any fruit would do [S]
3 cups of that newish So Good brand coconut milk, to try it out: not bad!

Blend! then, Consume! Arriba! Andale!

Cucumber Salad

Make a dressing of:

2 tbsp white or rice wine vinegar

Actually merely a sprout-delivery vector

1 tsp chili-garlic sauce
1/4 cup canola oil
Splash Bragg’s or tamari or soy sauce
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp evaporated cane juice
Splash dark sesame oil

In this dressing, marinade:

1 English cucumber, halved and sliced [S]
1 mango in chunks

for at least half an hour: serve with a buttload of different kinds of sprouts, mixed bean [SL] and clover [SL], an sliced avocado [S], chopped cilantro, and some sesame seeds.

Salad Rolls [I Confess, I Ordered Spud Stuff Specifically For This Instead Of Rolling With The Punches]

You’ll need those rice paper wrappers; this batch was made with the small size but I keep remembering, belatedly, that I like the big size also. These ones were rustled up during the move and I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget about them, plus this is one of my favourite meals.

Note also the pears and apples in the upper right

See the dressing above? Make that. [Coincidence? No.] In this dressing marinate:

1 cube firm tofu cut into strips [SL]

for at least an hour, overnight if possible]

Slice the following in strips as best you can: 1 mango [S], 1 avocado, half an English cucumber. You can also use red pepper. Wash a bunch of cilantro [S] and cut the leafy tops off. If you have salad greens kicking around they’ll go well in here. We used the pea shoots that came this week [SL]

A piece of clean absorbent cloth like a handkerchief helps when you’re rolling them; I used cheesecloth which actually wasn’t great but worked in a pinch. Get a pot big enough to easily put the rice sheet and fill with about 2″ of hot tap water. Put the rice sheet in for just a couple of seconds, then remove, put on the handkerchief, stuff with your fillings including a strip each of the marinated tofu, roll it up and set it aside. When you’ve used up all of the roll-innards, put the used-up tofu marinade in the blender with:

1 cup peanut butter
1 clove garlic
1 piece ginger

and blend on high speed to make a dipping sauce.

They're just so damn pretty

What we got: [local] shiitakes, cremini, white mushrooms, mixed bean sprouts, spartan apples [organic but from elsewhere] pears, kale, green chard, yellow onions

What I had before just kickin’ around: the little leftovers of a bunch of different kinds of organic weapons-grade rice:  primarily Lundberg blends but some wild, long grain brown, and red, all thrown together during the moving and cleaning process, sesame oil, chili garlic sauce, garlic, Bragg’s, lemon juice, sesame seeds, olive oil, S&P, dried thyme, Earth Balance, celery

Dish # 1

Wild Rice and Mushroom Pilaf

Made in the Blue Pot of chili, soup and stroganoff fame

1 yellow onion in fine dice
1 lb shiitake mushrooms, sliced, if necessary woody stems removed
1 lb cremini mushrooms, sliced
1 lb white mushrooms, sliced
1 stalk celery in fine dice
2 cloves garlic, minced
Splash olive oil
Earth Balance or butter
1 tsp whole thyme leaves
Sea salt, black pepper
2 1/2 cups sturdy long grain rice, recommend brown+wild or similar blend
5 1/2 cups cold water

Preheat oven to 325. In a heavy bottom oven-safe pot with a cover, heat olive oil and Earth Balance on medium-high. Add 1 tsp sea salt and thyme leaves. Saute mushrooms until they release their juices and reduce until the bottom of the pan stays dry for a second or two when scraped with a wooden spoon. Add onion, celery and garlic, with a couple shakes each S&P. Saute until onion is clear. Add rice and stir to cover and heat through. Turn off heat, add water, stir thoroughly, cover and put in oven. Depending on the moisture content of the rice it may take between 30 and 45 minutes to cook all the way through. Most of the liquid should be gone; test a grain or two to see if it’s your desired done-ness. Turn oven off. Let rest, covered, for a good 15 minutes. Fluff before serving.

On its own it was just fine fresh, with a bit of hot sauce and a few of the sprouts. Reheated it was an excellent base for the greens, see below…

Red bits are chili sauce; silicon tongs good for non-stick surfaces

Dish # 2

The Way To Prepare All Dark Greens That Will Always Make You Happy
2 or 3 bunches dark greens like kale [all varieties], chard [all varieties], spinach, collards, mustard greens, bok choy, etc.
Canola oil
Sea salt
Chili garlic sauce [Sriracha will work but I like the stuff with the actual chunks in it, available at Asian grocery stores], approx. 1/2 tsp but to your taste and spice-level
Bragg’s or soy sauce [Bragg's is better but SS will work in a pinch]
1 tbsp dark sesame oil
Sesame seeds
Lemon juice

Fill up your sink or a big pot of cold water and coarsely slice the greens into it, slosh around to rinse and rehydrate [if your greens are somewhat wilted the cold water will revive them]. Heat a splash of canola oil in a large, preferably non-stick heavy-bottomed pan on pretty high heat [watch the smoke point though]. Add a couple of shakes of salt. When the oil is up to temperature start to add the greens from the water bath. The extra water is to help them steam. They will mound up quite a bit but will shrink considerably as they cook. Cover when they’re all in there and steam on high heat until they are all wilted, using tongs to turn occasionally. Drain off excess water and canola. Reduce heat to medium high. Add a splash or two of Bragg’s, the chili-garlic sauce, the dark sesame oil, and use tongs to stir to cover. Let wilt another minute or two. Turn heat off and let rest covered for a few minutes. Add sesame seeds to taste and a splash of lemon juice. NOTE the lemon juice will discolour the greens somewhat

giant bowl o'goodness

so if you want to serve this at an event or you want to store the greens chilled, just add the lemon juice at the time of serving. Whoop!

Together these two made a nice vegan whole grains’n'greens mound that I topped with the mixed bean sprouts.  I could have also gone the butter-and-black-pepper route with the greens, keeping them more French than Asian inspired, and maybe added some truffle oil.  A good Goddess dressing like Amy’s would have been excellent also.  As with Amanda’s posts, I hope these ideas are more bases for you to get creative with whatever your delivery brings you as opposed to fixed “recipes”

1.  Finally shelled out for the iPad.  I’m still figuring out how it hooks up with the WordPress app and am so far having minimal luck with my style of blog posting [i.e.:  irregular, dilettantish, and when finally prepared, overcomplicated] but it’s perfect for everything else I want to do…primarily having access to the Internet as close to my frontal lobe as possible.  It’s durable, cuddly, shiny and small.  Definitely looking forward to travelling with it, although I haven’t had as many travel opportunities in ’10 as in ’09.

2.  Christine and I will be teaching an advanced workshop at Yoga For The People on Sunday January 30 2011 from 12:30 to 3:30.  Watch this space for details.

3.  I get to teach at the stunning Inner Space on Thursday nights from 5:30 to 6:45.  It makes me feel so good just being there.  If you’ve never been, check it out.

4.  Yaletown Yoga will be closed for renovations from Dec. 10 through Dec. 20.  Until its new gorgeousness is unveiled, catch me at Inner Space above or Big Rock Friday.

Just one; I am full of babies. Whattaya need?

5a).  Being pregnant with twins is way more awesome than I had been led to believe.  Thank Everything for Anusara yoga, without which I am really not sure how I would cope with this new body in the context of yoga or at least what I previously thought yoga was about.  For front body softness, thigh loop, muscular energy in the legs to alleviate SI pain…but mostly front body softness and trusting the divine…thanks John.  Srsly.  It’s so sweet to be able to continue with an active practice and not be treated like a fragile delicate flower just because OMG THE CORE.  Handstands and forearm balance feel the best, with backbends a close second.  Oh, and eating whatever I want.  [Side rant:  Why is this only permissible when in the ostensibly self-sacrificial mode of gestating humans?  Whoops, I forgot this is supposed to be a non-grumpy post.]

5b) This is why I haven’t posted too much:  because while of course this is a big deal in my world I haven’t wanted to write about it.  It’s like very quiet music that only I can hear, and while I could conceivably gas on and on about the subjective inner experience, it can be alienating and/or tedious.  It’s also a very sensitive topic.  Now that they are getting a bit bigger, and hopefully more stable, and people are getting out of my way when I go to the mall, I suppose it’s more public-domain.  I am terribly pleased, though

6.  It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  I wish it was snowing more, mostly because I got the first proper winter coat I’ve had since university, and also because I enjoy the State of Emergency snow provides here on the West Coast…or, well, to be perfectly clear, I enjoy not SUCCUMBING to the State of Emergency that seems to prevail because it makes me feel tough, and you all know how much I like to feel tough.  Stay warm, everyone.  Happy Hanukkwanzmas.

A.  My first quinoa.  It will likely only yield a teaspoon of actual grains which I will forget to harvest but I was pleased to see that the stuff you buy at Choices is not irradiated, and the first sprouted crop was shorn by Evelyn before it reached puberty [that snouty little beast]

IT'S NOT BEER. For the last time.

B.  Saving a buncha money not buying probiotics since I started brewing my own kombucha.  This is of the lineage of Clara Roberts-Oss, who left me the “mother” in the fridge at Flow, and since I didn’t know what I was looking for I almost took somebody’s leftovers home by mistake.  I haven’t been counting batches but I think this is close to #10.

C.  I can’t claim any credit for this other than Photoshop:  This is the beauty shot of the outhouse M built for their family woodland plot.  Alls I did was stand on boards that needed to be ripcut with dull handsaws, and I finishing-nailed the side cedar lattice.  Oh, and I pulled the rowboat out to the dock and loaded the lumber into it.  I was very proud of myself.

Everybody asks about the moon, there it is

D.  I can’t claim any credit for this either except those are my hands.  I have always wanted a way to grow delicate herbs and baby lettuces indoors and M hooked a sister up with a big long tray of awesome:  here’s some red leaf and a bit of Asian mesclun hiding in the background.  Out of frame is some really

and it just keeps on comin'

appallingly abundant basil.  It may kill and eat us.

E.  This is not colour-manipulated in any way and has been just one of about a zillion strawberries we got out of our planter box.  Consider:  We have only the deck garden to work with and really anything we get more than one of is dubbed a “bumper crop”.  They go well in Greek yogurt w/honey, and I save a lot of benjamins not buying those steroidic California berries.

like a big juicy heart

F.  Random cherry tomatoes, another huge haul this summer.  Some of them even successfully came from seed, sprouted in the lettuce box, which I didn’t think we had the

I like the colours as they ripen

gardening chops for.

Other things that I’m stoked about:  harem pants, the NFL preseason, our exciting 2011 season of visiting Certified Anusara teachers [watch vanusara.wordpress.com for details] and some sweet blogs by my friends.  I hope we help remind each other to write about what we honestly love and keep ourselves smiling.

nom nom nom

2 pieces bacon, chopped in lardons i.e. little slices; I actually diced mine and that was excellent
1 cooking onion, diced
1 piece celery, sliced
1 carrot, sliced
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper
2 tbsp all purpose flour
3 cloves garlic, minced
Can tomato paste, waiting for the glorious day when it comes in resealable containers because you never need a whole can….what you really need is 2 tbsp so if you have that kicking around, God bless you, check to see that it’s not moldy because that always happens to me
Bouquet garni [fancy French term for a big bundle of fresh herbs: I get to use my silicon food-tie for this purpose: rosemary, oregano, thyme, parsley]
3 cups beef stock
Half a litre bouncy young red wine, this time around was an inexpensive [=cheap] organic Sangiovese, but we’ve used Beaujolais in the past and of course the classic Burgundy would not go amiss…I wonder if a Malbec would suit?
2 cups tiny mushrooms; if tiny ones are not available, I’m sorry. But you can quarter normal mushrooms and use them instead
24 pearl onions; use peeling them as a meditation of sorts
2 firm-fleshed potatoes e.g. Yukon Gold, cut into 2 cm cubes

I make a pact with myself that no little burnt-buffalo-bit or carrot-shaving or oniony-garlicky-winey tidbit escapes this stew and therefore I use one pot primarily with only one [1] auxiliary saute pan, whose use I will cue you for. Preheat the oven to 450. Prep the mirepoix veggies and set aside. In your main heavy-bottomed oven safe stewpot, which ideally will be a Le Creuset or similar, heat 2 tbsp olive oil over medium heat. Brown the bacon lardons until they are wizened and dessicated; remove them and set aside in a bowl. Pat the buffalo dry with many paper towels. It will not brown properly if it is damp, and 4 lbs is a lot. M suggested pressing it between plates in layers with paper towels and that worked out fine.

Brown the buffalo in batches in the olive oil and bacon fat on high heat, seasoning as you go. Remember to brown all sides. Set the browned meat aside, batch by batch. Let the pot warm up and reduce in between and if needed, add additional olive oil and bring it back up to blisteringly high heat. When all the meat is browned, add mirepoix veggies to the fat, season, and saute until onion is translucent and well-being is generally good. Throw buffalo back in there, stir to cover with veggies and goo; add 1 tbsp flour sprinkling it over the top, salt and pepper, and put in oven, uncovered, for 5 minutes. Remove and toss; add another tbsp flour, s&p, and put back in oven for another 5 minutes [this puts a good crust on your meat if you know what I mean and I think you do.]

After this last meat-flour episode, reduce oven heat to 325 and put pot back on medium-low heat. Add beef stock, wine, garlic, tomato paste and stir. Bring to simmer on the stove. Put the bouquet garni in there, cover and throw back in the oven for AT LEAST 2 hrs because buffalo is intensely chewy and gamey and you want to stew the heck out of that sucker. In the meantime, at some point during this 2 hrs, saute potato cubes, mushrooms and pearl onions in butter and olive oil in your auxiliary saute pan, seasoned with salt and pepper…then set aside when onions are browned and mushrooms have released most of their juice.

At the two hour mark I recommend trying one of your buffalo bits and deciding how tender it is, if it is to your liking. Ours was, and therefore we removed the bouquet garni, added the mushrooms et al, stirred well, and put it back in the oven for another half an hour. If you are dealing with some particularly gristly or gamey meats, you may elect to add more wine/water and put ‘er back in the oven for a while.

I am pretty sure that of all the magnificent things I have made in this kitchen [and there have been many] this is the most magnificent. It is a sweet melange of French and Canadian cooking [NOT French-Canadian cooking], what with Blue Goose Farms and Julia Child’s recipe. Bon appetit, eh?

Now that I’m lucid and mobile enough to prepare my own food, here’s an immune-boosting brothstravaganza that soothes the savage throat.  Inspired by phó but beefless:

In a medium soup pot, bring 8 cups water to a boil with:

3 cloves garlic, skins on, flattened with the side of a knife
2 oz. dried mushrooms [we used chanterelles because that's what we had; shiitake would be even better]
1 thumb sized piece of ginger; peel it, set aside about a knuckle-sized peeled chunk, slice the rest thinly and put the thin slices and the peel in the water

That's what the julienne peeler does for the carrot

3 dried Thai chilis
1/2 tsp white peppercorns
1/2 tsp pink peppercorns
2 tsp coriander seeds
the top and tail of a carrot [you'll need the rest below]
the top and tail and leaves of a celery stick [see below]
the top, tail, and half of a white onion, sliced [now you're gettin' it]
5 stars of star anise
1 tsp whole cloves
1 tsp kosher salt

This whole shootin’ match should be brought to a boil, then lowered to simmer, and simmered for as long as you can stand it or until all the colour has been leached out of your veggies and your whole house smells like star anise. Strain and RESERVE THE LIQUID; throw away the spices and veggies. Set stock aside.

For soup:

Splash canola oil
The half of the onion you didn’t use above, super-thinly sliced

om nom nom nom

1 stalk celery, cut into julienne strips
1 carrot, julienned [I used the julienne peeler because I have one]
1 lb cremini mushrooms, super-thinly sliced
The knuckle-sized piece of ginger, thinly slliced
1 clove garlic, thinly sliced
1 bunch bok choy, thinly sliced
1 bunch broccolini, cut on an angle in 1/2 inch bits
Lots of water
4 vegetarian “beef” boullion cubes
Dark soy sauce
1 package thick rice stick; break it up in a bowl, pour boiling water over it, stir to cover and loosen noodles…then drain, rinse in cold water, COVER in cold water and set aside

To garnish:

Bean sprouts
Thai basil, chiffonaded [word?]
Lime wedges
Pea shoots
Chili-garlic sauce
Sesame seeds

In an enormous stock pot, heat canola oil on high. Add sliced mushrooms and a couple shakes of kosher salt; stir to cover until pan bottom is dry; add onion, ginger, carrots and celery, stir just a couple of times. Then add reserved spice stock and water to almost fill the pot. Add garlic, stock cubes and soy sauce; cover and bring to a boil. Add broccolini and bring back to a boil; then add boy choy, rice stick, turn of the heat, stir and cover for just about 30 seconds or until the bok choy wilts.

To serve, ladle into a deep bowl and then throw some bean sprouts on top. I like “planting” the pea shoots at the side of the bowl as a nod to phó tai with raw beef; when you get your soup you stir the pea shoots in and the hot broth cooks them.  Add basil chiffonade, sesame seeds, and top with the lime wedge and some hot sauce if desired.

You will need:

1 bunch coriander, washed and de-stemmed

om nom nom nom nom

1 block extra firm tofu cut into 1 cm cubes [w00t metric system]
1 red pepper in 1 cm dice [I'm-a roll with it]
1 bunch bok choy, sliced
2 tbsp rice vinegar
2 tbsp Bragg’s [Tamari would work but might be a bit oppressive]
1 tsp chili garlic sauce
1 packet broad rice noodles, soaked in boiling water, rinsed and set aside
1 tbsp canola oil
1 tbsp dark sesame oil
Sesame seeds

In a blender, purée half of the bunch of coriander with the rice vinegar, Bragg’s, and chili-garlic sauce.  A bit of water can help it “flow” a bit better.  In a bowl or Tupperware, pour this blended mixture over the tofu cubes and set aside.

In a wok or stir-fry pan, heat the canola oil over medium-high.  Sauté the red pepper and the substantial parts of the bok choy for a couple of minutes.  Throw in the rice noodles, tofu cubes and dressing.  Stir thoroughly.  Add the thin parts of the bok choy leaves and the rest of the coriander, coarsely chopped [you can keep some aside for garnish or if you're all coriandered-out; my feelings on this fine herb are well known].  Keep stirring until the leaves are wilted and the mixture is heated through.  Toss with dark sesame oil.  You can serve now with sesame seeds on top or set it aside to cool and it’ll be most excellent the next day.  Also.

Tastes best when you watch it with the football episode of Glee.

These are the sweet 100s. This plant is twice this size by now (this was taken in June)

this year has been by far the most proper “crops” [such as they are] of tomatoes and lettuce.

These pics are when they were green and I have been a) too hungry and b) not organized enough to take pics of a harvest, when we go out for the San Marzanos and Sweet 100s and make good fresh pasta or salads.  Linguini with halved cherry and mini-orange tomatoes, tossed with some of our unusually successful basil and chives, with butter and fresh Padano, is quite the last-minute snack…but is far too pretty not to eat immediately after a long day of teaching.  Sorry.

The lettuce was something I’ve been meaning to do for years and every single year I tried it it bolted before we ever got anywhere.  What I did this year was wait for months, way

yummi lettus

after when you are supposed sow it, even right into the heat wave.  Inexplicably no bolting…just delicate Grand Rapids, Buttercrunch, a red leaf variety that I forget the name of, and a bit of baby red chard thrown in for good measure.  It makes me wish we’d planted the white beans this year.  I have a feeling it would have been a good one.

Stupid blackberry pictures; it looks like leftovers. IT'S FRESH.

I wanted you guys to know that I made the quinoa salad up with barley ’cause I ran out of quinoa and it was actually great, maybe even better in terms of consistency, cause barley is such a toothy grain that it soaked up the dressing and extra liquid in the veggies in a most marvellous way.  Here’s a variation that includes black beans, some heirloom tomatoes, a bit of crumbled feta, wilted [on purpose!] kale, and half a shallot that I rescued from the fridge.

Also, some of you have expressed interest in a mala, and I’m happy to make one for you to your specifications [or just freestyle one], but I gotta be honest:  these stones weren’t cheap:  depending on what you want I’d love to hook you up but be prepared to set aside some coin for materials.  If you’re STILL interested in spite of my baleful fiscal caveat, please let me know in comments or email me at my first name backwards at gmail dot com.

OH AND!  I think for Mayday this year it’s time to bring back Big Rock Fridays.  And by “bring back” I mean going all the way back:  Big Rock Friday I, the jam that started it all, back when we only had 35 people in there instead of 229 [Note to building inspectors:  /sarcasm/].  My original intention was to create a set of wicked awesome playlists that we could play with every Friday and I think we have enough wicked awesomeness to proceed, don’t you?

This was far FAR too amazing not to link to.  This guy is…well, just watch the thing, would you?

Okay, now M’s watching Notorious, a bit better, although it’s worth noting that just in time for the return of BRF Classic, Slash will be the guest on American Idol next week.  COINCIDENCE??!?!?!?/1?!??!slashslash??one?!  I gave up believing in coincidences a long time ago, actually.

You will need:

1 serrano chili
1 small cooking onion
4 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp dried whole rosemary
1/2 tsp dried whole thyme leaves
1/2 tsp cumin seed
1/2 tsp white peppercorns
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 tbsp canola oil ["a good blurble", and I quote]
1 tbsp olive oil [presumably as above]
4 cups white mushrooms, cut into quarters
3 sweet bell peppers [a medley of colours is nice, like one orange, one red, and one yellow...but NOT green], cut into 1″ sided triangles
1 zucchini, cut into quarters and then 1/2″ wedges
1 bag of frozen corn OR 3 cobs’ worth of fresh corn kernels
1 package Yves’ Mexican Ground Round OR you could use TVP in a pinch
1 can each: red kidney beans, black beans, and navy beans, all drained and rinsed thoroughly. You know, I used to think you saved money buying the conventionally grown beans. But then I started to realize that each can contained about 45% beans in the c.g. cans, whereas the organic cans are so packed full of beans that space-time compresses slightly around each can, which makes them heavy to carry but well worth the effort and minimal extra cost.
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes [M likes Unico]
1 can tomato paste
Pinch dried habanero pepper powder [Please do not literally pinch the habanero powder. This saga is worth a whole blog post in and of itself. You know, if you don't have dried habanero powder, then you're a normal civilian, and you can use a couple shakes of chili powder. And I quote, "Or, you know....to taste...like what your heat tolerance is...(and then a pregnant pause)"]
1/4 bottle Corona [What you do with the rest is up to you.]
1/4 cup water
Kosher salt and black pepper to taste

In the food processor, mince serrano, onion and garlic. Set aside.

In a mortar and pestle, grind all dried herbs and spices [EXCEPT the habanero] and kosher salt. The salt helps abrade and wear down the seed casings and dried cellulose of dried spices, so let it work for you. When ground as finely as you can, sift through a fine sieve or mesh strainer to remove any remaining shells/husks. Discard shells/husks. Set spice mix aside.

In The Blue Pot, an enamelled cast-iron casserole, or heavy large pot of your choice, heat canola oil over high heat. Add mushrooms and a couple of shakes of salt and pepper. Drizzle with olive oil. Saute, stirring well, for about 7-8 minutes or until browned and releasing their juices. Add food-processed aromatics and stir to combine. Saute together until onion is translucent, about 2 minutes. Add Yves’ ground round and stir to combine.

SPOON OR FORK??

Add dried spice/salt mix from mortar and breathe deeply, a.k.a. huff it a little. Stir to combine. Once everything seems heated through and browned, deglaze with Corona and water [you get a sort of mushroom-based gravy here]. It’s at this point that pretty much everything else goes in: corn, peppers, zucchini, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, and drained/rinsed beans. You’ll regret not purchasing that chin-up bar when it comes time to stir this all together, but do so as best as you can. It seems like it’s about to bust out of your pot but it will render down.

Here’s where the habanero powder comes in. If you add it too soon it maces your whole apartment/house. Add that sucker and STIR THOROUGHLY. Lower heat to medium [depending on the heat of your stovetop you may wish to lower to medium-low]. Cook time from this point is close to an hour. Simmer uncovered, stirring often. More stirring creates more “bean gravy”, the ostensible point of this chili. The goal, I’m told, is to have your spoon standing straight up in the pot.

Serve with sour cream and chopped cilantro, and some Kevlar protective gear.