Now that I’m lucid and mobile enough to prepare my own food, here’s an immune-boosting brothstravaganza that soothes the savage throat.  Inspired by phó but beefless:

In a medium soup pot, bring 8 cups water to a boil with:

3 cloves garlic, skins on, flattened with the side of a knife
2 oz. dried mushrooms [we used chanterelles because that's what we had; shiitake would be even better]
1 thumb sized piece of ginger; peel it, set aside about a knuckle-sized peeled chunk, slice the rest thinly and put the thin slices and the peel in the water

That's what the julienne peeler does for the carrot

3 dried Thai chilis
1/2 tsp white peppercorns
1/2 tsp pink peppercorns
2 tsp coriander seeds
the top and tail of a carrot [you'll need the rest below]
the top and tail and leaves of a celery stick [see below]
the top, tail, and half of a white onion, sliced [now you're gettin' it]
5 stars of star anise
1 tsp whole cloves
1 tsp kosher salt

This whole shootin’ match should be brought to a boil, then lowered to simmer, and simmered for as long as you can stand it or until all the colour has been leached out of your veggies and your whole house smells like star anise. Strain and RESERVE THE LIQUID; throw away the spices and veggies. Set stock aside.

For soup:

Splash canola oil
The half of the onion you didn’t use above, super-thinly sliced

om nom nom nom

1 stalk celery, cut into julienne strips
1 carrot, julienned [I used the julienne peeler because I have one]
1 lb cremini mushrooms, super-thinly sliced
The knuckle-sized piece of ginger, thinly slliced
1 clove garlic, thinly sliced
1 bunch bok choy, thinly sliced
1 bunch broccolini, cut on an angle in 1/2 inch bits
Lots of water
4 vegetarian “beef” boullion cubes
Dark soy sauce
1 package thick rice stick; break it up in a bowl, pour boiling water over it, stir to cover and loosen noodles…then drain, rinse in cold water, COVER in cold water and set aside

To garnish:

Bean sprouts
Thai basil, chiffonaded [word?]
Lime wedges
Pea shoots
Chili-garlic sauce
Sesame seeds

In an enormous stock pot, heat canola oil on high. Add sliced mushrooms and a couple shakes of kosher salt; stir to cover until pan bottom is dry; add onion, ginger, carrots and celery, stir just a couple of times. Then add reserved spice stock and water to almost fill the pot. Add garlic, stock cubes and soy sauce; cover and bring to a boil. Add broccolini and bring back to a boil; then add boy choy, rice stick, turn of the heat, stir and cover for just about 30 seconds or until the bok choy wilts.

To serve, ladle into a deep bowl and then throw some bean sprouts on top. I like “planting” the pea shoots at the side of the bowl as a nod to phó tai with raw beef; when you get your soup you stir the pea shoots in and the hot broth cooks them.  Add basil chiffonade, sesame seeds, and top with the lime wedge and some hot sauce if desired.

You will need:

1 bunch coriander, washed and de-stemmed

om nom nom nom nom

1 block extra firm tofu cut into 1 cm cubes [w00t metric system]
1 red pepper in 1 cm dice [I'm-a roll with it]
1 bunch bok choy, sliced
2 tbsp rice vinegar
2 tbsp Bragg’s [Tamari would work but might be a bit oppressive]
1 tsp chili garlic sauce
1 packet broad rice noodles, soaked in boiling water, rinsed and set aside
1 tbsp canola oil
1 tbsp dark sesame oil
Sesame seeds

In a blender, purée half of the bunch of coriander with the rice vinegar, Bragg’s, and chili-garlic sauce.  A bit of water can help it “flow” a bit better.  In a bowl or Tupperware, pour this blended mixture over the tofu cubes and set aside.

In a wok or stir-fry pan, heat the canola oil over medium-high.  Sauté the red pepper and the substantial parts of the bok choy for a couple of minutes.  Throw in the rice noodles, tofu cubes and dressing.  Stir thoroughly.  Add the thin parts of the bok choy leaves and the rest of the coriander, coarsely chopped [you can keep some aside for garnish or if you're all coriandered-out; my feelings on this fine herb are well known].  Keep stirring until the leaves are wilted and the mixture is heated through.  Toss with dark sesame oil.  You can serve now with sesame seeds on top or set it aside to cool and it’ll be most excellent the next day.  Also.

Tastes best when you watch it with the football episode of Glee.

These are the sweet 100s. This plant is twice this size by now (this was taken in June)

this year has been by far the most proper “crops” [such as they are] of tomatoes and lettuce.

These pics are when they were green and I have been a) too hungry and b) not organized enough to take pics of a harvest, when we go out for the San Marzanos and Sweet 100s and make good fresh pasta or salads.  Linguini with halved cherry and mini-orange tomatoes, tossed with some of our unusually successful basil and chives, with butter and fresh Padano, is quite the last-minute snack…but is far too pretty not to eat immediately after a long day of teaching.  Sorry.

The lettuce was something I’ve been meaning to do for years and every single year I tried it it bolted before we ever got anywhere.  What I did this year was wait for months, way

yummi lettus

after when you are supposed sow it, even right into the heat wave.  Inexplicably no bolting…just delicate Grand Rapids, Buttercrunch, a red leaf variety that I forget the name of, and a bit of baby red chard thrown in for good measure.  It makes me wish we’d planted the white beans this year.  I have a feeling it would have been a good one.

Stupid blackberry pictures; it looks like leftovers. IT'S FRESH.

I wanted you guys to know that I made the quinoa salad up with barley ’cause I ran out of quinoa and it was actually great, maybe even better in terms of consistency, cause barley is such a toothy grain that it soaked up the dressing and extra liquid in the veggies in a most marvellous way.  Here’s a variation that includes black beans, some heirloom tomatoes, a bit of crumbled feta, wilted [on purpose!] kale, and half a shallot that I rescued from the fridge.

Also, some of you have expressed interest in a mala, and I’m happy to make one for you to your specifications [or just freestyle one], but I gotta be honest:  these stones weren’t cheap:  depending on what you want I’d love to hook you up but be prepared to set aside some coin for materials.  If you’re STILL interested in spite of my baleful fiscal caveat, please let me know in comments or email me at my first name backwards at gmail dot com.

OH AND!  I think for Mayday this year it’s time to bring back Big Rock Fridays.  And by “bring back” I mean going all the way back:  Big Rock Friday I, the jam that started it all, back when we only had 35 people in there instead of 229 [Note to building inspectors:  /sarcasm/].  My original intention was to create a set of wicked awesome playlists that we could play with every Friday and I think we have enough wicked awesomeness to proceed, don’t you?

This was far FAR too amazing not to link to.  This guy is…well, just watch the thing, would you?

Okay, now M’s watching Notorious, a bit better, although it’s worth noting that just in time for the return of BRF Classic, Slash will be the guest on American Idol next week.  COINCIDENCE??!?!?!?/1?!??!slashslash??one?!  I gave up believing in coincidences a long time ago, actually.

You will need:

1 serrano chili
1 small cooking onion
4 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp dried whole rosemary
1/2 tsp dried whole thyme leaves
1/2 tsp cumin seed
1/2 tsp white peppercorns
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 tbsp canola oil ["a good blurble", and I quote]
1 tbsp olive oil [presumably as above]
4 cups white mushrooms, cut into quarters
3 sweet bell peppers [a medley of colours is nice, like one orange, one red, and one yellow...but NOT green], cut into 1″ sided triangles
1 zucchini, cut into quarters and then 1/2″ wedges
1 bag of frozen corn OR 3 cobs’ worth of fresh corn kernels
1 package Yves’ Mexican Ground Round OR you could use TVP in a pinch
1 can each: red kidney beans, black beans, and navy beans, all drained and rinsed thoroughly. You know, I used to think you saved money buying the conventionally grown beans. But then I started to realize that each can contained about 45% beans in the c.g. cans, whereas the organic cans are so packed full of beans that space-time compresses slightly around each can, which makes them heavy to carry but well worth the effort and minimal extra cost.
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes [M likes Unico]
1 can tomato paste
Pinch dried habanero pepper powder [Please do not literally pinch the habanero powder. This saga is worth a whole blog post in and of itself. You know, if you don't have dried habanero powder, then you're a normal civilian, and you can use a couple shakes of chili powder. And I quote, "Or, you know....to taste...like what your heat tolerance is...(and then a pregnant pause)"]
1/4 bottle Corona [What you do with the rest is up to you.]
1/4 cup water
Kosher salt and black pepper to taste

In the food processor, mince serrano, onion and garlic. Set aside.

In a mortar and pestle, grind all dried herbs and spices [EXCEPT the habanero] and kosher salt. The salt helps abrade and wear down the seed casings and dried cellulose of dried spices, so let it work for you. When ground as finely as you can, sift through a fine sieve or mesh strainer to remove any remaining shells/husks. Discard shells/husks. Set spice mix aside.

In The Blue Pot, an enamelled cast-iron casserole, or heavy large pot of your choice, heat canola oil over high heat. Add mushrooms and a couple of shakes of salt and pepper. Drizzle with olive oil. Saute, stirring well, for about 7-8 minutes or until browned and releasing their juices. Add food-processed aromatics and stir to combine. Saute together until onion is translucent, about 2 minutes. Add Yves’ ground round and stir to combine.

SPOON OR FORK??

Add dried spice/salt mix from mortar and breathe deeply, a.k.a. huff it a little. Stir to combine. Once everything seems heated through and browned, deglaze with Corona and water [you get a sort of mushroom-based gravy here]. It’s at this point that pretty much everything else goes in: corn, peppers, zucchini, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, and drained/rinsed beans. You’ll regret not purchasing that chin-up bar when it comes time to stir this all together, but do so as best as you can. It seems like it’s about to bust out of your pot but it will render down.

Here’s where the habanero powder comes in. If you add it too soon it maces your whole apartment/house. Add that sucker and STIR THOROUGHLY. Lower heat to medium [depending on the heat of your stovetop you may wish to lower to medium-low]. Cook time from this point is close to an hour. Simmer uncovered, stirring often. More stirring creates more “bean gravy”, the ostensible point of this chili. The goal, I’m told, is to have your spoon standing straight up in the pot.

Serve with sour cream and chopped cilantro, and some Kevlar protective gear.

Cook 1.5 cups dried quinoa in 3 cups water until the liquid has evaporated and the husks are starting to release from the grains.

It's a quinoa WONDERLAND!!!1!

Fluff, cover, take off heat and set aside. Fluff again after about 10 minutes and put in the fridge, or if you’re Canuckistani, outside to cool.

You will also need:

1 English cucumber, topped and tailed and cut into sliced quarters
1 package grape or cherry tomatoes, halved. These little tomatoes will work better than the big ‘uns since their skins help them preserve their structural integrity during the salad-making and storing phase.
OPTIONAL: A good-sized chunk of feta cheese, cut into 1/2″ cubes. Tofu would do if you’re hard up or feeling sorry for yourself, and Bryanna Clark Grogan’s soy-feta is wicked awesome for you vegan cats out there.
1 bunch cilantro, chopped. If you are a cilantro-hating Philistine you can make a respectable tabouleh-esque facsimile of this salad using parsley
1 package pea shoots or similarly robust sprout like sunflower, chopped
1 clove garlic minced
1 shallot, diced finely
1 tbsp lemon juice
Couple of splashes of Bragg’s
1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
Sea salt and pepper

In a large [LARGE] bowl, combine cucumber and tomatoes and a couple shakes of salt.  Stir to cover and let rest for about 15 minutes to release any extra water out of these vegetables before you prepare the salad.  Drain if necessary.

Add feta or feta-substitute, chilled cooked quinoa, cilantro, and then shift to an even larger bowl or even stock pot because you didn’t realize when I said “large” up above I really meant like the largest bowl you have.  Then add the pea shoots now that you have room.  Stir to combine.

In a smaller bowl or measuring cup, whisk together garlic, shallot, lemon, Bragg’s, cayenne and olive oil.  A couple of shakes of black pepper never go amiss.  Pour over grains’n'vegs in giant bowl and wind to combine thoroughly.  Make the stirring of this salad a mini-meditation on the glories of quinoa.  It will last for a really long time, so you can serve it as a side or bring it with you to work as a mini-meal or adjunct to a more substantial meal.  It also goes over very well at potlucks as it looks awesome and is suitable for wheat-free diets.  Also it costs about CDN$10.50 and will feed a small army.

You will need:

Heh. "Stroganoff"

1 lb white mushrooms, thinly sliced
Olive oil
Sea salt and freshly ground pepper
1 cooking onion in fine dice
2 stalks celery in fine dice
1 large carrot in fine dice
2 cloves garlic, minced finely
1 tsp dried parsley
Red wine
2 “beef” bouillon cubes
2 splashes Bragg’s
2 russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2″ cubes
1 package veggie “beef” tenders, chopped coarsely
About 3 handfuls of dried egg noodles or vegan equivalent
3 tbsp all-purpose flour dissolved in 1/2 cup of water. Stir it A LOT. No chunks.
Sour cream or tofu sour cream to serve

In a medium enamelled cast-iron stew pot, heat olive oil and some salt and pepper on high. Add sliced mushrooms. Saute until the pan dries, stirring regularly; set aside. Add a bit more olive oil and S&P and add mirepoix + garlic. Saute for what will seem an impossibly long time, stirring a lot. This will be a labour of love and you’re trying to render down the veggies. Patience is a Stroganoff virtue. When the pan is dry when scraped with a wooden spoon [5-7 minutes?], add 1/4 cup red wine, dried parsley and a splash or two of filtered water. Keep stirring, keep uncovered, cook until pan bottom is dry again. Add potatoes, “beef” and cooked mushrooms. Stir to cover and heat through. Add water to cover, bouillon cubes, Bragg’s, a bit more pepper and a splash of red wine. Cover to boil and cook for 10 minutes or so, until potatoes are more than tender and close to falling apart when forked. Add noodles and cook for another 5 minutes. Lower heat and simmer for as long as you can stand it…15 more minutes? Stir in dissolved flour. Simmer a bit longer, God help us all. Remove from heat, cover, and let rest for 5 minutes before serving. A dollop of sour cream and some chopped flat-leaf parsley will set it up nicely.

You’ll need:

Splash canola oil
1 shallot, half of it in fine dice, the other half left peeled and whole
2 cloves garlic, one finely sliced, the other one left peeled and whole
A thumb-knuckle sized chunk of ginger, peeled and whole
1 stalk celery, julienned on an angle
Half a red bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 package extra-firm tofu, cut into cubes
1 bunch cilantro with the bottom ends of the stems cut off
Couple of sprigs of Thai basil [Italian basil will work in a pinch]
3 tsp green curry paste [I found a rad one in the local grocery today: it says J-Lek with some unintelligible Thai characters afterwards. Good luck and Godspeed.]
1 can coconut milk
1 package frozen peas [ideally organic]
OPTIONAL: pea shoots, chopped in inch-long pieces
Splash rice vinegar

TO GARNISH: Chopped unsalted peanuts and lime wedges

[I recommend that you cook some whole grain of some sort to go along with this; we had brown rice. Some rice noodles would be awesome.]

Cut off the cilantro stems. Put them in the blender with the coconut milk, 2 tsp of green curry paste, basil, whole shallot, whole garlic, whole ginger, and about half a cup of water. Blend thoroughly, and sit tight.

In a heavy-bottomed pot, heat the canola oil on medium-high heat. Add one tsp of green curry paste and stir. Add tofu, veggies, shallot and garlic. Stir to heat and saute, stirring well, for just a couple of minutes. Add peas, stir, and heat thoroughly [another couple of minutes], then cover with the blended sauce. Heat and simmer for about 5 minutes. Add pea shoots if using, and rice vinegar to taste. Depending on your curry paste you may wish to salt a little more at this point; the paste I got was wicked salty, so I got off the hook in that respect. I also threw in some chopped cilantro at this point because I’m a cilantro junkie who can never be satiated. Simmer for another 5 or 10 minutes and then let rest off of the heat.

Ladle curry over grains or noodles and garnish with some sliced fresh basil, chopped cilantro leaves, a wedge of lime, and some chopped peanuts.

All the best nerdy shows like House MD and Heroes are on on Monday so it’s good to have a steaming hot bowl of awesome to sit down with.

Sent from my BlackBerry! hurray

Yes, I know it’s actually the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, but my God, that’s a glaring oversight on the part of Corporate America™. It should SO be the Salsa Bowl. What is a Fiesta Bowl anyway? Actually, this soup might be one…

It’s in a tomato-cilantro base but would also make up well with canned diced tomatoes, or if you are one of those peculiar humans with an antipathy towards cilantro you could substitute a neutral green like chard or spinach. Cilantro is the “green” in this soup; one full bunch is not a typo!

1/4 cup olive oil
1 cooking onion in 1/8″† dice
1 fresh jalapeno, minced finely
3 cloves garlic, minced finely
1 medium zucchini in 1/4″ dice
1 red bell pepper in 1/4″ dice
Sea salt and fresh black pepper
1/2 tsp. ancho chili powder
1/2 tsp. whole cumin
1 package frozen corn OR 4 or 5 cobs’ worth of fresh corn kernels
1 small can black beans, drained and thoroughly rinsed
1 bunch cilantro, some stems reserved for garnish, the rest chopped finely
1 28-oz. can crushed tomatoes
3 “chicken” bouillon cubes
Couple of splashes of Bragg’s
3 bay leaves

In a large soup pot heat olive oil on medium high. Add onion, jalapeno, garlic, bell pepper, zucchini, ancho chili powder and cumin; season with salt and pepper. Saute for about 7 minutes, until onion is translucent and pot-bottom is dry when scraped with a wooden spoon [You may need to turn the heat up; the veggies‡ should be cooking pretty briskly. Stir often!!]

Add corn and black beans; stir to cover and continue cooking, stirring regularly, until heated through. Add canned crushed tomatoes and water to fill the soup pot about 1″ shy of the top. Throw in Bragg’s, bouillon cubes and bay leaves; give it a stir, cover and heat until boiling, then reduce heat and simmer for at least half an hour. Serve with fresh cilantro sprigs, whole-grain toast and maybe even a bit of Monterey Jack grated on top if you’re into that kind of thing.

†Confession:  It should come as no surprise to my friends and readers that I scored pretty high in the online Asperger’s Disorder test [a 32, where 35 is a confirmed diagnosis].  So I am coming at this vegetable cutting thing in a very organized, some might say even frighteningly specific way:  I take the size of the ingredient I can’t change [in this case, corn and beans] and cut the other vegetables so that they are basically the same size.  [M interjects that this is pretty typical culinary technique] So far, so good, right?  BUT!  But.  Then you scale down slightly to find the size of yer onion-cutting.  Because if I find cooked onions that are bigger than any other item in a soup or mixed vegetable dish, I have to wash my hands thrice and turn around counterclockwise before I eat it.  No, not really, but I do pick them out and I don’t like it I DON’T LIKE IT.  There, now you have it.

‡I’ve made this soup as a base for tons of different veggie combinations:  yams, celery, other peppers or squashes.  I toyed with putting in 1/2 cup of dried quinoa at the bouillon-adding stage but since the broth was so pretty I chose not to.  If you love quinoa and are needing to increase the ol’ whole-grain intake, give it a whirl and let me know how it goes.

Lincoln and the Union Christmas Dinner. They didn't have Tofurkey because Lincoln was Republican.

I had originally written an impressionistic post that was just bragging about our Christmas Eve and the dinner we had going on. I’ve since decided that that was kind of jerky, and to share this masterpiece with the world. A little context here: We couldn’t leave to see M’s family since we’ve been snowed in with what’s being described as the worst snowstorm Vancouver has had in 25 years, so we put on all our gear and hauled up to Capers in the cavalcade of last minute shopping and about 2′ of wet snow. Our mandate was, if you saw anything you wanted [croissants, pie, ice cream, chocolate, fruit, smoked salmon &c.] it went in the basket, and Capers is now part of Whole Foods [a.k.a. Whole Paycheck] so it was quite the lavish treat. We even got imported organic wild cranberry sauce and avoided the traditionally revered, yet repellent, “stshtshstshthtshthup” of the canned stuff. This was a combined effort, but you can do it yourself if needed. Feeds 2 people twice [Christmas Eve and Christmas Day] or 4 people once!! All recipes below the fold.

M’s “Tofurkey Sounds Like A Joke, But This Is Serious” Tofurkey Pot Roast
n.b. The corporate spelling of “Tofurkey” is “Tofurky”. I can’t even begin to enumerate the reasons why that’s wrong, so with all due respect to Turtle Island Foods, I have spelled it correctly below.

1 Tofurkey brand roast, thawed and unwrapped
1 ½ cups tiny whole button mushrooms [cremini are ideal]
½ cup fresh chanterelle mushrooms, coarsely chopped
3 small shallots cut into garlic-cloved sized wedges or chunks
5 whole cloves garlic, peeled, topped and tailed
¼ cup olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
½ tsp white peppercorns
2 whole allspice, uh, nuggets [what do you call those things anyway?]
¼ tsp pink peppercorns
¼ tsp each: dried oregano, dried rosemary, dried sage [ours was from our summer bumper crop of purple sage in the garden]
½ tsp dried tarragon
*In a mortar and pestle, combine salt, all peppercorns, and all dry herbs and grind finely.
Fresh black pepper
1 “chicken” bouillon cube dissolved in 1 cup boiling water
To the hot bouillon, add 2 tbsp of finely chopped dried porcini mushrooms and a pinch of saffron; set aside
1/3 cup dry white wine [we used Semillon Chardonnay]
3 cups baby potatoes
1 bunch carrots, washed and partially topped to leave a bit of green [about 1/2”]

Preheat oven to 350F.

In a medium-sized enamelled cast iron casserole pot, heat olive oil on high. Add fresh mushrooms and stir well immediately. Saute for 3-5 minutes, until they are starting to brown. Add shallots and garlic; stir to cover and saute for another 2 minutes. Add finely ground spice/herb/salt mix and a couple of shakes of freshly ground black pepper. Add Tofurkey roast and brown on a couple of sides [no need to brown the whole thing, it's not a real pot roast], about 7 minutes. Deglaze pot with white wine. Stir in bouillon/porcini/saffron mix. Stir to combine; add potatoes and carrots and stir to cover. Cover dish and put in preheated oven, and then do other things below, basting approx. once every 10-15 minutes. [Total cooking time is minimum 1 hour, but it can hang out in there for quite a while as long as it is covered and will not get dry or burn, so you can busy yourself with other side dishes and similar].

After the roast is done, and when you have a moment, take the whole shebang out and “carve” a.k.a. slice the roast. With a slotted spoon, take the root vegetables out and put in an oven safe serving dish; place sliced roast on top. Put in oven to keep warm. In the bottom of the cast-iron dish remains the most ridiculously tasty complex mushroomey/bouillony/winey/spiced/herbed gravy-base magnificence, so you can proceed below…

M’s “I Can Haz GRavi?“

Over medium heat, reduce the enamelled pot’s contents for about 4 minutes. Add a container of thawed Tofurkey brand “giblet” gravy [note: contains no giblets or anything even like giblets because, ew.] Stir to combine and heat thoroughly. Holy moly, gravy is great.

M’s Butternut Squash for the Lazy Gourmand

Peeling and chopping butternut squash is the worst job of all time and this recipe dodges that horror completely. I always get this disgusting orange film all over my hands that won’t wash off. Gah.

The oven’s already warm from the Tofurkey preheating, but if you ever want to make this on its own, preheat to 350F

1 butternut squash, cut lengthwise into 1” thick slabs and deseeded
Butter or Earth Balance butter substitute
The juice of one honey tangerine [orange juice would do in a pinch, but...please]
Kosher salt and fresh black pepper to taste

In a large flat Pyrex pan, add slabs of squash, brush with Earth Balance and a couple shakes each of salt and pepper. Roast until tender, poking with a fork every 10 – 15 minutes [e.g. when you baste roast]; total roasting time about 45 minutes. Turn about halfway through [when one side seems quite browned]. Remove from oven. Use a bit steel spoon to scrape out the squash and put in an oven-safe bowl. Mash w/potato masher and add tangerine juice; mash to a bloody pulp after that, and when it’s all mashed to your liking, put back in the oven to stay warm.

S’s I Yam What I Yams

2 large garnet yams, peeled and cut into 1” chunks
1 cup water
1 stick cinnamon, broken in half
5 whole cardamom pods
3 stars of whole star anise
Kosher salt
1 tsp Earth Balance
The peel and top and tail of about a thumb’s worth of fresh ginger; finely mince the rest once peeled
Freshly ground nutmeg and black pepper

In a small sauce pot, add water, yams, whole spices, ginger peel and a pinch of kosher salt. Bring to boil. Lower heat, cover and simmer until yams are tender, about 20 minutes. Set aside to briefly cool so that you don’t splash hot water on yourself when you proceed. You can manually mash them, but I used the KitchenAid stand mixer. Remove and discard the spice pods/sticks/stars/peels. Put the yams, the boiling liquid and the Earth Balance into the mixing bowl and mix on high speed until they’re whipped into a luscious froth. Put the whole lovely mash back into an oven safe bowl, put a couple shakes of fresh nutmeg and pepper on top, cover and put back into the oven to stay warm along with everything else [or, if making this recipe in isolation, EAT THEM].

S’s “You Can’t Just Have Soy Protein and Root Vegetables for Dinner, That’s Not Right” Broccoli w/Cheese Sauce

1 head broccoli, cut into florets
1 tsp Earth Balance
1 tsp white all-purpose flour
¾ cup milk [skim will work. But it's Christmas for God's sake]
About 2 tbsp each grated: Emmenthal, gouda, aged white cheddar
Splash white wine [Semillon Chardonnay as above]
Fresh black pepper

Start the broccoli florets steaming, and in a small sauce pot, heat Earth Balance on medium-low. When it’s melted, add flour and stir completely to combine. Add milk about a ¼ cup at a time and whisk rapidly until you make a roux. [If you prefer a thinner sauce feel free to add more milk]. Once the milk is in there, give it a couple shakes of black pepper. Add wine and whisk thoroughly. Add cheese, a pinch at a time, stirring until wholly melted. When sauce is done, throw in broccoli and stir to cover in sauce. If you’re making this in the context of the whole dinner, this should be the last thing that you do.

Serve with your fancy yuppie cranberry sauce! And wine and a movie. Suggested: “Ironman“. Then eat previously purchased pie, chocolate, ice cream, cookies, Ferrero Rochers, Bailey’s truffles, and fall asleep in front of the TV. Suggested movie for falling asleep in front of TV: The 1951 Alastair Sim “Christmas Carol“. I’d forgotten how awesome that was, when he’s all giddy at the end and using his Queen Anne chair as an inversion table to do a headstand.