More great conversations, more raw crude oil for the blogmachine as it trundles ever forward. By the way, if you are chafing under the bridle of my infrequent posting, I have decided to make my posts lower in quantity but [hopefully] higher in quality, so that you really get something for your neurons to chew on. Which is not to say that I won’t post recipes, oh heavens no. Had a great quinoa bowl last night with grilled tofu steaks that took me all the way back to old school Torontonian neo-hippiedom circa 1999. I’m just trying to choose my posts with care.

This conversation is one of my personal favourites: [in movie trailer voice:] IN A WORLD! Where all yoga styles APPEAR to use the same language! Of freedom and liberation and connection and bliss! How do you find your path? Which styles move forward with integrity of message and action? Is Coke really different than Pepsi, and if so, how?

My personal harangues with this deal more on the aesthetic level than actual beef with any particular yoga technique or method. I have always loved the romantic, glorious dancerly aesthetic of various vinyasa and flow styles. I love the overwrought energetic

I am attempting to create some sort of record for most lolcats used in a yoga blog

charge of throwing your head back in delight in a huge lunge pose and leaning pendulously to the side in preparation for Trikonasana from standing. I’m an emo kid from way back and I love drastic emotion, what can I say? Temper tantrums, crying jags, ebullient joy, that’s my stock in trade and I felt those qualities reflected in those styles. Interestingly, I do not resonate with the aesthetic of, say, the Anusara website. I’ve never loved purple, associating it primarily with growing up in the 80s and legwarmers/eyeliner, neither of which I employ, and if I didn’t know what riches of heart and message it contains I don’t think I would hang out there wanting to learn more. On the other hand, Jivamukti’s ornate, baroque take, melding India with Washington Square, has much more going for it on an artistic level and I can see how they snare many a creative mind with such a gorgeous design. [AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I drafted this post with a memory of a really wicked awesome site and when I went to link to it, not only was the Jivamukti site also purple, or, well, mauve really, but it ended up being sorta boring.  Their studios and practice aren't boring-looking, though, so MY POINT STILL STANDS]

So one style looks more conventional, more boring than the other…and yet I actually felt encouraged to EXPRESS and explore those dramatic extremes of emotion in Anusara by way of the philosophical teachings. How can this be? Why does one form of romanticism show up in theory, but not in practice?

The conversation that inspired this blog post was with a teacher searching for the the key, the “hook” to deliver their message with integrity and consistency. They never actually connected with the purple, Arizonian-American life-coaching flair of Anusara as it presents itself as an organization, and wanted to see their red-wine-and-Bon-Iver late-night lavish discussions of heart reflected AESTHETICALLY in their chosen style. So they, understandably, were considering moving to a more flow-based training, one that directly incorporated the stunning beauty of classical yogic iconography and teaching.

As with getting to know the gorgeous guy in Grade 9, with a full soundtrack of The Smiths to let you know how DEEP he is and how much he UNDERSTANDS you, after a while you realize he only really cares about his TurboGrafx 16, Camaros and David Lynch movies [I'm not actually referring to anybody specific here, in spite of the cultural specificity, I just don't know what the Kids These Days think is cool so I have to dredge my own past for nuggets], and that you have both been props for your collective delusions of heart. You can’t feel as deeply as you want to feel in a method of yoga that has absolute rules, or no cogent guidelines at all. You can’t love somebody deeply, no matter how great they look, if they don’t see you for who you are.

As with all late-night red-wine emo festivals, the splashy wildness has a hangover: throwing your head back in delight in a

Ooh, he's so dreamy. From deviantart.com

huge lunge pose can start to seriously mess with your neck and your shoulders. Leaning pendulously to the side in preparation for Trikonasana from standing, although your heart is full of zeal, does your knee no favours. And you know I’m not big on the Bogeyman Method of yoga instruction, terrorizing yourself with potential injuries so that you are never free: but your Grade 9 crush, the romantic beauty, the drowning, gasping feeling of being overwhelmed with the narrative, starts to create some serious disconnects when you are not seen and loved back. In the moment it is the most intoxicating, glorious feeling. Afterwards the pain sets in.

So over in the corner of the Physics classroom is the guy you grew up with, low on the drama scale but high on the Integrityometer. Anusara Yoga might not have the sexiest website but it has never asked me to do anything that does not align with my hearts’ genuine intention. It’s never asked me not to eat anything or not to say anything…or not to teach anything [Yes, true]. It has always had my body’s health and sustained energy in mind. What’s most fascinating about the boy next door is that he will always bear with your emo tantrums more lovingly than the smoldering drama king. It doesn’t look like Anusara has that drippy poetry in it from the outside, but trust me: if that’s what’s in your soul you have a home there. Just remember to place your feet hip distance apart.

6 Comments »

March 22nd, 2010 Lauren Says:

sjanie, another home run at the blog office. you have the greatest knack for words. so fortunate and happy to have you as a teacher.

March 28th, 2010 Jordan Says:

Moving from my most recent experiences with loving someone deeply, over the past 1.5 years, “You can’t love somebody deeply, no matter how great they look, if they don’t see you for who you are” could be a side long glance with just the correct eyebrow tilt to transmit the message, and I hear you loud and clear. And in the same thought, I feel the deep desire to rush my bodies energies, total emo, and find out what new feelings I can feel and new places I can find within myself.
I to am not a fan of the purple website, and when I imagine John Fiend okaying the design, I can’t take my mind off of him waring the deep purple, combined with hot green and yellow pattern on a black pouffy jacket. A great combination for his tan and hair…80’s OMFG As well I can’t really stomach the site for anything more then copy and pasting .doc the info that I need for my Anusara Inspired tm certification so I can reference it later. But the point about this all does remain. I have found no other place in all of the years of The Jordan where freedom of expression isn’y only the goal, but unavoidable in every sense.
I mean that truly. I say that through practicing the application of the primary and secondary principals, in concert, I have heard the music that is me. Again not to get tooo gushy. What I’ve learned about myself on the mat, so far, has been more valuable in my life than years of counselling school. By RESPECTFULLY looking back at my practice I have been able to see how I express myself in the world, magnified 10 fold. And Sjanie says she wants me at 10%. I’m working respectfully on 50%.
I have not found that “Grade 9 crush, the romantic beauty, the drowning, gasping feeling,” anywhere in Anusara. Except maybe the drinking from the fire hose of the immersion process. But that fire hose has brought me a depth of understanding of myself that I am able to Love, and not have any fear of “waiting for the after effects of the relationship to set it.” And really all those people who say “you can’t love anyone before you love yourself,” are :
a) I feel are correct
b) Must have already come with this knowledge of themselves intrinsically built in
c) if not “b” than must be done the work that I’m still doing

But then I find myself asking, what is love?
I know now that Love isn’t something that happens, but rather something that is. And if Love is an absolute than so must be this inner knowledge. And the real thing is, what got in the way of this inner knowledge, and my understanding of Self.

I do just need to remember to “place your feet hip distance apart.”

Jordan M

I hope this all makes sense. I just realized that I’m bloging in surgical recovery, not to mention the codeine.

Love.

March 31st, 2010 mags Says:

you are blog perfection. again with the ass kickery. THANK YOU!
and yes, time for a new website, A.

April 2nd, 2010 Leanne Says:

Well I have news for you dear. John’s new vision for Anusara takes it up a whole new level and you may just get that funky artistic bohemian feel you love in Jivamukti. I saw soem of the plans for installations at the Anusara Village at Wanderlust and all I can say is – wow- think Burning Man fused with shiva/shakti tantra.
You know that unassuming boy from physics…I think behind closed doors he is wild in the sack!
Love you and miss you like CRAZY!!
xo

May 19th, 2010 Kathy D. Says:

I was just avoiding making dinner; followed a link and ended up here- I think I’m in love! Hope to meet you someday, I just read the last few posts and I’m so relieved to know you all are out there…. I’m in Calgary but don’t hold that against me – I completely agree with not only your aesthetic sense but your ideas on thinking critically!

May 19th, 2010 jes Says:

mmm, can’t stop thinking about Fresh’s smoothies and thai burgers and all their rice bowls and crunchy spring rolls and on and on. Seriously, one of the best restaurants and I just had brunch there 2 weeks ago. Sigh. I can’t believe we don’t have one here! But, in the meantime the cookbooks will have to do. OH, and I promise I read the rest of the piece, but I had to have a snack first.

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