Well yo yo yiggity yo, as the BFF in “Juno” says, I think wisely.  Here’s me poking my pointy little head up after diving deep through layers and layers of yogic craziness, including the ol’ certification exam [which, whoa].  I’m literally in between my greatest teachers as the 3 day therapeutics training with John concludes and Immersion III with Chris commences.  Don’t tell Chris this but I packed almost all the homeworks from 6 weeks into after dinner on Monday and tonight.  My typing fingers are sore.

Today marked my first unassisted Urdhva Dhanurasana to standing, and my first assisted Handstand to Urdhva dropover.  And then my second and third.  This week marked my first Kala Bhairavasana attempt, which yielded me doing it backwards [which is way harder TBH] and my first motions towards Valakhilyasana.  In addition to my typing fingers, my obliques and forearms are sore.

And of course Flow Yoga reopened, the most anticipated diva in YYoga’s harem of superstar studios.  Variously described as “yoga heaven” and “a space station”, the place is cool, ginormous, and crammed full to bursting with great hearts and brilliant minds, including a whole passel of wellness staff, ready to palpate you into oblivion at a moment’s notice.  Maybe I should see them about my fingers, obliques and forearms.

In honour of my 33rd birthday, one month ago today

But seriously folks.  Is this thing on?  This summer has been a workout of spirit more than any other body part.  By which I mean the aspects of myself that are being tested are not the physical [although 14 classes a week definitely make my feet a bit punchy] but my ability to abide in a place of spirit while facing a pendulous email inbox and a hyperactive BlackBerry, while navigating the seemingly random and exquisitely pointless Granville Street construction, while taking notes on treating fibromyalgia while my eyelids are so heavy from unfiltered sake that they blur the already illegible text I’m trying to create.  What is this vigour that arrives where no vigour should be?  What is hauling my butt out of lovely bed every morning to go hand out nametags and practice fascia massage?

John, as is his wont, was disarmingly perceptive in his ability to dial into exactly what we are accessing when we attempt to teach and to heal…and what fire is there when we choose to be more disciplined in our study and commitment.  Man, I don’t know where I’m going to get the juice to assist for 4 days looking at people’s feet but I am completely confident that it will happen.  And as I expand what I believe is both possible AND desirable, my soul’s fortitude is increased and reinforced.  So as I keep leaning on a bigger energy, hoping against hope that when Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely” comes blaring out of the Sony DreamMachine tomorrow at 6:30 and I have to pick through the foyer table’s change pile for the “Add Fare” to use my 1-zone transit pass to get to Burnaby, it’ll all feel very natural and in fact quite pleasant and exciting.

This is grace, because it will be all of those things, and the less I try to finagle it into some sort of ideal balanced diet of work and rest, te more the work becomes the rest itself.  I guess it’s the difference between doing a million abdominal crunches and Headstand.  The strength [virya] is also the courage to let things be zany, to be upside down and just address the upside-down-ness on its own merits without hardening or putting up little tree-fort walls against spirit.  As long as I can remember what I’m doing this for [smrti] I will feel myself borne along on a cushion of brightness, hardly holding myself up at all.  This is being supported by the “muscle” of the soul.  The more you work it, the stronger it becomes.

3 Comments »

August 20th, 2009 josie Says:

Sigh. Sjanie can you write to me every day, working out those tired fingers to depict the mysteries of life in such fine form? Love love love this post! You rock sister, friend, honey child. Good luck on entering into the next intensive with Chris, your jugo juice will be pumpin’ in no time, I have no worries with that. See you in October!

Much love and Namaste delight!

Josie

August 21st, 2009 Natasha Says:

As always, you impress me so much. I want to be like you when I grow up!

August 22nd, 2009 einajs Says:

Well right back atcha ladies…both of your blogs are magnificent, and I’ve been such a slacker blogging lately I really needed the inspiration. Massive ((((hugs))))

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