We arrived home on Sunday night, refreshed and looking so relaxed that [as Christine pointed out] we looked Botoxed.  What should one do after a week’s holidays on Vancouver Island?  Why, go on another trip to Vancouver Island, of course.  I wedged a week’s worth of work into a 54 hour period and now the laundry is in the washer, the suitcase is packed [I found some underpants I left behind from Costa Rica, which was surprisingly pleasant as the resort laundry staff there had folded them into cute little balls with Central American panache] and I’m going to end up making the cross-Strait journey once again.

At SPL there’s no internet:  THE AGONY!  THE ECSTASY!  so this is a little bit of a catch-up/holdover post until I return from the wilderness.

You can't really see this, but he is barely touching her...go Val go!!

It’s been an exhilarating couple of weeks in the Vanusara community, and we don’t stop, don’t stop the rock.  After the whirlwind of Chris Chavez’ visit our Inspired teachers are basically getting that knock on the door that tells you to step up the majors.  It’s a weird feeling after centuries of Calvinist inculcation to be told that the best thing you can do for everybody around you is to commence some major butt-kicking, but there it is:  excellence waits for no yogi:  the time is now.  I keep having these little spazz attacks where I think I can’t handle it, that there’s no way this can last, that the bar is set too high for me to keep this up.  It’s like a cultural lifetime of anxiety and feeling inadequate keeps pounding away at me, like the waves in Ucluelet hitting the basalt shore.

Luckily Mr. and Mrs. McInnis didn’t raise no lily-livered fools, and I am starting to see that these little voices of inadequacy are just that: little voices. They get amplified by life and circumstance, but there’s no particular logical reason to pay more attention to them than to any of the OTHER little voices, most notably the one saying, “Hurray! Awesome! Let’s do it!”

That's our view. That's my JACKET for God's sake. Can you stand it?

So now that our newest YYoga studio is opening soon, and that I’m formally on the path to Anusara certification, and I have two retreats to teach in two weeks, and my 33rd birthday is impending, and John Friend is arriving in mid-August, and Chavez’ Immersion III immediately follows, and I want to make the next Big Friday on July 24 the m0sT aWeS0mE BiG r0cK EVAR [requests welcome!], it doesn’t really help me to crawl into bed with a bottle of Amaretto and start twitching and sucking my thumb.  I would have no method, no way of approaching a time of this intensity without breaking down if I didn’t have this practice.  It’s such a gift, not just to keep you treading water in your life but to help you dive deeper than you ever thought possible.  It’s kind of rainy now here in Vancouver and yesterday’s classes were packed, but while I’m gone, keep hitting the mat, rain or shine.  See you in a week…

1 Comment »

July 17th, 2009 Marcia Wilson Says:

Just wicked. That’s all I can say.

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