I was sitting around bemoaning the paucity of recent posts on this blog [cause, you know, it's not like I write it or anything] and M decided to contribute in the interests of general bloggery: his apartment-famous chili recipe. This is a chili non carne, e.g. vegetarian, but meaters can feel free to bite his style where relevant [spice blends &c.]. Total cooking time is minimum 95 minutes [we know this because it took as long as it takes to watch Titan AE]

You will need:

1 serrano chili
1 small cooking onion
4 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp dried whole rosemary
1/2 tsp dried whole thyme leaves
1/2 tsp cumin seed
1/2 tsp white peppercorns
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 tbsp canola oil ["a good blurble", and I quote]
1 tbsp olive oil [presumably as above]
4 cups white mushrooms, cut into quarters
3 sweet bell peppers [a medley of colours is nice, like one orange, one red, and one yellow...but NOT green], cut into 1″ sided triangles
1 zucchini, cut into quarters and then 1/2″ wedges
1 bag of frozen corn OR 3 cobs’ worth of fresh corn kernels
1 package Yves’ Mexican Ground Round OR you could use TVP in a pinch
1 can each: red kidney beans, black beans, and navy beans, all drained and rinsed thoroughly. You know, I used to think you saved money buying the conventionally grown beans. But then I started to realize that each can contained about 45% beans in the c.g. cans, whereas the organic cans are so packed full of beans that space-time compresses slightly around each can, which makes them heavy to carry but well worth the effort and minimal extra cost.
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes [M likes Unico]
1 can tomato paste
Pinch dried habanero pepper powder [Please do not literally pinch the habanero powder. This saga is worth a whole blog post in and of itself. You know, if you don't have dried habanero powder, then you're a normal civilian, and you can use a couple shakes of chili powder. And I quote, "Or, you know....to taste...like what your heat tolerance is...(and then a pregnant pause)"]
1/4 bottle Corona [What you do with the rest is up to you.]
1/4 cup water
Kosher salt and black pepper to taste

In the food processor, mince serrano, onion and garlic. Set aside.

In a mortar and pestle, grind all dried herbs and spices [EXCEPT the habanero] and kosher salt. The salt helps abrade and wear down the seed casings and dried cellulose of dried spices, so let it work for you. When ground as finely as you can, sift through a fine sieve or mesh strainer to remove any remaining shells/husks. Discard shells/husks. Set spice mix aside.

In The Blue Pot, an enamelled cast-iron casserole, or heavy large pot of your choice, heat canola oil over high heat. Add mushrooms and a couple of shakes of salt and pepper. Drizzle with olive oil. Saute, stirring well, for about 7-8 minutes or until browned and releasing their juices. Add food-processed aromatics and stir to combine. Saute together until onion is translucent, about 2 minutes. Add Yves’ ground round and stir to combine.

SPOON OR FORK??

Add dried spice/salt mix from mortar and breathe deeply, a.k.a. huff it a little. Stir to combine. Once everything seems heated through and browned, deglaze with Corona and water [you get a sort of mushroom-based gravy here]. It’s at this point that pretty much everything else goes in: corn, peppers, zucchini, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, and drained/rinsed beans. You’ll regret not purchasing that chin-up bar when it comes time to stir this all together, but do so as best as you can. It seems like it’s about to bust out of your pot but it will render down.

Here’s where the habanero powder comes in. If you add it too soon it maces your whole apartment/house. Add that sucker and STIR THOROUGHLY. Lower heat to medium [depending on the heat of your stovetop you may wish to lower to medium-low]. Cook time from this point is close to an hour. Simmer uncovered, stirring often. More stirring creates more “bean gravy”, the ostensible point of this chili. The goal, I’m told, is to have your spoon standing straight up in the pot.

Serve with sour cream and chopped cilantro, and some Kevlar protective gear.

1 Comment »

April 5th, 2009 New project | Heavy Metta Says:

[...] usually end up just getting dinner. Today in a remarkable change of pace we went with the leftover blue pot chili and didn’t buy so much as a sprig of anything edible: today was all about handcrafts. [...]

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