Teaching nightmare
Heh. It hadn’t actually occurred to me to blog about this until Christine, God bless’er, told me to. I trust her instincts in this as in all things. It’s kinda embarrassing though.
I had a teaching nightmare…you know, THOSE teaching nightmares? where you’re naked? except in this one I wasn’t naked. We were trucking along, fully clothed, warming up, and I made this fatal error:
“Please step your right foot forward and lower your back knee. On your next inhale, please lift your arms to the sky for a lunge.”
Immediately, a melée ensued [as M likes to say]. Some people took balancing poses, others Reclined Half Happy Baby. A couple people had a STRAIGHT-legged lunge or other variations. [Remember, this is happening IN MY HEAD while I sleep. No flying, no dragons, no fantastic voyages. Am I dedicated, or what.] I decided to give everybody the benefit of the doubt in spite of the generally descending energetic temperature of the room:
“Okay, so, uh, from Down Dog, please step your RIGHT foot forward, and gently lower your back knee to the ground. When you’re ready, follow the breath and lift the body and the arms for a lunge pose.”
Little to no effect, maybe an eyeroll here and there. So, as we yoga teachers do, I decide to get right back to first principles: I soften and take a breath, and I wonder why I want them to do a lunge so badly, and then I ask them to please just sit on their heels and I’ll tell them…ahem…
“You know, I hope you all feel able in your yoga classes to honour what your body really needs, because nobody knows you like you know yourself, and being sensitive to that call is probably one of the greatest and most noble practices you can cultivate. Having said that, as teachers we are passionate and excited about sharing our experiences and what makes our lives on the mat as rich and joyful as they are, so if I suggest a posture, it’s because that’s the way that *I* know to bring my experience to you. I’d love to talk about those reasons more if you have questions. In the meantime, let’s come back into Down Dog, and…”
People just start getting up to leave. Like, they’re giving me a deadly stinkeye combination of the “How could you let me down like that” and “What type of nonsense is even coming out of your mouth, woman?”
I’m like, “You guys! Let’s just sit down and talk about this some more because I think we’re getting somewhere…guys…? Please?” As they’re walking out, some students are saying, “That was just unacceptable”…”totally beyond the pale”, &c. I wake bereft, and to be honest, really sweaty. Brr. I’m getting the hot-colds again just thinking about it.
So, teachers: remember to cultivate gratitude that adults pay their nickel and step their right feet forwards when you ask them to. Students†: You have a lot of power and, as in Spider-Man, with great power comes great responsibility. And mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Yoga Cowboys: a good teacher should have a reason for why they’re doing what they’re doing, which is a two-way path of clearly conveying and being open to receive.
†I wish to clarify that this did NOT happen in real life; my real life students are game for pretty much anything and laughed their keisters off when I told them this story. YMMV.